An A to Z of personal development - communication continued

Writing about communication in the context of personal development, my initial thoughts are around us taking responsibility for ensuring that our communication is clearly understood by the intended recipient. We need to ensure that our message is clear and unambiguous.

· “Communication is never what is sent, only what is received.” ~ Unknown

We also need to take account of the others involved – so we write for the reader, or avoid jargon with those outside our specialist field.

It is also of great importance to understand that all of us take in information through the filter of our expectations, beliefs and stories, so we may not hear the words being spoken because we expect a different message or we get caught up in our own history and allow words to trigger emotions not relevant to the current situation.

And to communicate well, it also helps to have an awareness of how others process information. So - are they auditory; preferring to listen, to talk through ideas, responding to words such as ‘how does this sound to you’ or are they visual; responding to written documents, mind maps, colourful images, words such as ‘see, imagine, and visualize.’ Or they could be kinesthetic, needing to be asked how they feel, or what their gut reaction is, so that they can get to grips with an idea.

· “The problem with communication... is the illusion that it has been accomplished." ~ George Bernard Shaw

· “Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

Some useful resources can be found in the following two books: “I only say this because I love you” by Deborah Tannen, and “Fierce Conversations” by Susan Scott.